LOOKING BACK – 5.2.18

They say you should never look back, only forward. But at times I think it’s very important to look back and see how far you’ve come.
A couple of weeks ago Melbourne endured one of the hottest Melbourne nights in a long time, so we decided to head down to our local, the beautiful South Beach in Mount Martha. Celebrating two family birthdays – sister inlaw Courtney & mother inlaw Robin, two of the three beauties who shaved their heads for me back in November – as we went down there I recalled doing the same thing almost a year earlier, a couple of weeks post diagnosis & surgery. Last year as I plonked myself on the sand, I knew when the time came and I had to stand again it was going to be VERY difficult. After sitting around doing very little for a few weeks in hospital and home my muscles had basically gone MIA. I couldn’t get up off the ground without help pretty much for a few weeks/months. And if I ever had to get up holding anything, you could forget it. This included little baby 16wk old Reevie. This hurt the most. I could no longer play with him on the floor and pick him up. Life had changed again in another cruel way.

However, a year on and thankfully now, a very different story. As I sat on the sand and recalled this thought from a year ago, I instantly stood up and ran into the ocean for a swim and play with – my not so little anymore – baby Reevie.
It’s funny, as we have now turned over a year of living with ‘Terry’ everything is having an anniversary. As someone recently pointed out to me the “crainiversary” (craniotomy/anniversary) is something that should be celebrated too – as we did unintentionally with the visit to the hot springs last month.

Where does one stop though?

One year from radiation commencing/completed? Perhaps not but if we were too, it seems I’m having another “celebration” soon (15.2.18 marks one year). Then theres the ‘Going bald from radiation Anniversary” but I think that one, is something I’ll definitely pass on. That being one of the most traumatic experiences I’ve ever been through. It’s something I’d rather forget – although hard when you still live everyday with a bald patch –  having your own hair fall out into your own hands ain’t a pretty picture. Imagine sitting in a mirror combing your fingers through your hair and it just coming out clump after clump full. Filling your fingers with your once long blonde hair and the bathroom sink along with it. I cried. No actually I balled. A lot. Along at times with Sean. He was just devastated for me. It’s so tough on them too. The innocent bystander. They’d do anything to help, but unfortunately there’s just nothing they can do. Except watch this awful process unfold. Which is so incredibly difficult. Thankfully he was my rock and vowed “we will get through this Donnie” and here we are one year on.

Thankfully as it (hair loss) continued, I did get used to it and was always amazed how much kept coming out. For fucks sake. Can’t it be over now? Did I really have that much hair to loose? Apparently so. But now, that year on, I’m thankful for my – almost full head of – new hair. A style & colour I would have never had the guts to do in a million years. So a few small wins here and there.
On Saturday I also had my latest MRI, I asked the radiology staff if they’d mind taking a few photos so I could share them with you all. So you can see what exactly I do every few months. I can’t even remember now how many MRI scans I’ve had. Must be getting close to 7 or 8ish. Something I’ve become accustomed too as part of this whole brain cancer deal. The one thing I don’t think I’ll ever get used to however, is the noise of those machines. It’s insane. Sounds like the loudest grinders, jackhammers and scraping noises I have ever heard, fed right into your ears. Results come in for this scan Monday week so I’ll have my fingers and toes crossed for some positive news. In the meantime I’ll be praying to someone above 🙏🏻, no growth and some shrinkage please.

Appreciate any positivity you can send my way. 3 rounds of chemo to go.
Love Don xx

#braincancer #astrocytoma #lotusfordonna #fucancer #seeyaterry


6 thoughts on “LOOKING BACK – 5.2.18

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